Ninety-five percent of conversation should be about the other person… five percent about yourself.
Always be asking questions and create small talk – but make it fun small talk – if you’re at a social event or dating, be sure it’s flirting or even seductive small talk. When asking questions, be sure you’re not asking questions that end up with one-word answers – probe for some details and have that other person feel like you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Don’t forget to keep your body language in check and smile!
I know, we live in a connected world, and everyone’s cell phone is a must have life-line, but too often we’re ignoring life when our face is buried in the phone.
Start with the small things — put the phone away when walking, ordering something, or otherwise interacting with someone. Strike up some simple conversation instead – even the over used, “what do you think of the weather” line is a place to start. After all, you’re here to learn to improve your social skills – and being buried in your phone isn’t the way to do it (unless you’re reading the latest SocialAwesomeness blog post).
With how badly men and women are screwing up when talking to the opposite sex, acting ‘normal’ is now a bonus.
Try it – assuming your ‘normal’ isn’t forced and unnatural.
“I’ve failed over, over, and over again in my life. And that is why…..I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
Think about that for a moment… Are you sitting in limbo right now – studying this web site and others – waiting until you feel you have it all mastered before you get out there and wow the world (or just the woman or man next door). Stop jerking yourself around – you need real world practice – including the experience of failures.
Get out there right now – today or tonight. Go for a walk and chat up the first person you see!
There are two kinds of people in this life….
Those who walk into a room and say,
“Well, Here I am!”
and those who walk in and say,
“ahh… there you are!”
Who do you want to be?
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
If you’re worried about the outcome of approaching that cute girl or guy, then stop it!
Put absolutely no ‘terms’ on the outcome of your interaction and see how much better (and easier) it is!
The same goes for the majority of your other social interactions. Get out of your head and stop thinking about the possible outcome (which you’ll always consider negative), and just start your interactions!
Although it’s really awesome that you’re here and studying through the SocialAwesomeness web site, remember the 80 / 20 rule – applies everywhere – including your desire to improve your social skills.
80% of your time should be on real life practice, 20% of your time spent here studying and making notes!
“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women (or men) is to remember that you already are.”